Requiem for a Tradition
Posted: July 27, 2005 @ 3:23 am
One of the earliest signs that I was beginning to age occurred several years ago when I heard Emmitt Smith discuss his love for playing on Monday Night Football. Emmitt recalled how as a young boy, he would beg his father to let him stay up late enough to see Howard Cosell narrate the show’s halftime highlights. Having done the exact same thing with my parents, it occurred to me that enough time had passed for Emmitt to not only grow up, but to have a long, productive — and now complete — pro career. The memory was as depressing as it was sweet.
I thought of Emmitt and time again this spring when the NFL announced that the amazing 36 year run of Monday Night Football on ABC would come to an end after the 2005 season. I was reminded yet again of what that institution had been and what the fans have lost when ESPN announced that it’s new announcing team will be Al Michaels and (hide the children, please) Joe Theismann.
Friends, especially those of you under the age of 30, I assure you it was not always this terminal. MNF was a gamble for a third place network with nothing to lose and a league with everything to gain. When it succeeded it did something few shows can claim: it redefined the way Americans, especially American men, used the medium.
ABC was a television backwater in 1970, having never so much as finished second in the three network sweepstakes that was pre-cable American TV. ABC had only tasted the top ranking for a few weeks in the fall of 1964, when its new hit Bewitched caught the nation’s fancy. Ratings were so bad at the network that an industry joke asked, “how do you end the Vietnam War? Put it on ABC. It will be over in 13 weeks.”
Football in prime time is so taken for granted today that it’s hard to imagine how reluctant the NFL was to roll the dice with ABC. Football of any type at night was a novelty, having only debuted in 1965 when NBC moved the Orange Bowl to New Year’s Day evening to showcase the New York Jets’ new toy Joe Namath. When it came time to schedule the first MNF matchup, Cleveland Browns owner Art Modell volunteered, but feared he might “lose my shirt” on a weeknight game. He admitted to being stunned when the walkup crowd could not be accomodated.
The true genius of the program was its three man booth featuring Howard Cosell, Don Meredith and, in the inaugural season, Keith Jackson. Jackson was replaced in year two by the mentally-lacquered Frank Gifford, who is still amusing fans with his sing-song misremembering of names. (My two favorites were his confusing Cowboys’ CB Dennis Thurman with Thurman Munson, the late Yankees catcher, and calling Falcons’ coach Leeman Bennett “Leeman Beeman.” Repeatedly. You simply had to be there.)
Frank aside, the key of the program was the Meredith-Cosell duo. Whether the pairing was intentional or a happy accident of programming by ABC producer Roone Arledge, it was television genius. In an era of memorable sitcom odd couples, from Archie and Meathead, Fred and Lamont and Oscar and Felix, Dandy and Howard could hold their own. They were the strangest of pairs: Meredith, a recently retired, hard-livin’, smooth-drawlin’ QB from north Texas. Cosell was the sharp-tongued, bitter-souled intellectual who always seemed as disgusted by the games as he was intrigued by them.
Cosell, who always promised, and frequently delivered to “tell it like it is,” pioneered actual criticism from the booth. Meredith, in his “aw shucks, Howard” way, would attempt to rein in Cosell and deliver a folksier, yet equally insightful comment. Gifford would provide down and distance. They gave us personalities to root for and against. Cosell embodied what it must be like to watch a game with your most arrogant, disaffected college professor. Bars nationwide promoted Monday Night Football parties where lucky fans could throw a brick through the tube when Howard was bloviating. Dandy became our stand in, the regular guy who could make his points and hold his ground with Professor Cosell without recourse to pomposity or polysyllabic words.
At a time when the NFL was unsure whether America would accept football as an alternative to sitcoms and dramas, Cosell and Meredith guided the league into prime time by wrapping a sitcom around a football game. Nineteen years before Mystery Science Theater 3000, Americans tuned in by the tens of millions to watch these two watch football. People noticed when a drunk, disappointed Oilers fan flipped off the cameras in the fourth quarter of a 34-0 Raiders drubbing because Howard and Don’s interplay had kept them riveted.
The NFL worked as entertainment because ABC treated the game as only part of the show. Cities went crazy vying to become the next site for the traveling circus. It was a big deal to host a Monday night game. It was validation of your city, a sign you were legit. It was an even bigger deal if you were snubbed.
The problem over the years is that ABC surrendered top billing to the game. Ironically, as the football became more important, Monday Night Football became less so. Now, it’s just a platform for hucksters and has-beens. I look forward to missing Hank Williams Jr.’s stale intro. The Simpson’s dead-on parody of Bocephus’ jingle — “are you ready for some SOC-CER?!” — showed how risible the song has become.
Recent attempts to revive MNF demonstrate how little ABC understands what made it a success in the first place. I had hope for the Dennis Miller addition because it brought somebody from outside the “jockocracy” that Cosell decried and offered an opportunity to recreate the simulacra of the early days. Alas, MNF was just a way station on the road to insignificance for Miller; he tried to impress us as a football guy rather than as the wiseass who knew a little about the game. How boring.
Even John Madden, who in his day was one of the best commentators ever, seemed a caricature of himself, mugging to promote his video game. The gratuitous explosions that seem to follow every commercial break and every big play (watch a game and notice how often you see flames in the background) shows that ABC just doesn’t trust their product anymore.
That’s why it’s especially sad that the final MNF analyst will be Theisman. Joe embodies the worst of all worlds. He’s got Cosell’s acid but none of Howard’s insight. He’s also got Gifford’s penchant for saying dumb things without any of the unintentional humor. (What can you say about a guy whose signature comment is, “Bill Walsh is not a genius.” “Norman Einstein, now there’s a genius.”) In short, Joe is proof the original MNF concept has hit rock bottom; what once was an ace sitcom with some football thrown in at no cost is now pure pigskin with little of the fun. If the game is a yawner the program is doomed.
Oh well, at least my kids won’t beg me to stay up through halftime on Monday nights.
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Raf,
Great column.The only thing i would add is the link
betweeen the rise of MNF and the rise of the Cowboys
to the status of “America’s Team” since the two went
hand in hand.MNF was the first national game for the
NFL and many people saw their first Cowboys game
on MNF……..the rest as they say is history.
Great writing Rafael. Brought back a lot of memories. I always liked listening to the MNF guys getting drunk and loopy as the game went on. The worse the game the further they got in the bottle.
Sean,
If you’ve never read the book “Monday Night Madness” find a copy and give it a read. It’s quick, but hilarious. The craziness that went on behind the scenes was incredible. The story of Howard getting drunk and throwing up on Dandy’s boots, or of Don starting a game at Denver by staring through bleary eyes at the camera and saying, “welcome to Denver’s Mile High Stadium…and I sure am…” are beyond belief. Of course, Dandy was gone when the show came back from commercial break.
Thanks for the referral. I’ve never heard of that book but it sounds like a hoot.
You know who I think would be great on MNF…Darren Woodson-knows the game, is well spoken and has broad appeal.
I liked the Dennis Miller bit on MNF but I’m a big fan of his(too bad his show got cancelled on MSN, it was great).
I was about to say maybe Franks mistakes were just his inability to handle as much liquor as Howard and Don.
Don and Howard were awesome in the boothe. You know I never thought I would miss Howard Cossel, but he and Meredith were truly the odd couple and very entertaining. I also remember Don having to defend our Cowboys……..seems Howard got the media bias against them also…..but then he talked like he hated all teams and all players. I always wondered who made who bigger badder and better……..Ali or Cossell.
I had not heard Thiesman was going to Monday. I had heard Madden was going to Sundays……..I have never enjoyed Sunday Night Football because of Thiesmann. He is an arrogant idiot. He is one of the few guys from ND that I wish went somewhere else. The best SUNDAY Night Football ever……….was in Giants Stadium. When they retired LTs number 56 and honored the great Linebacker. I think it was still the hard party and cocaine days for Lawrence Taylor. He yelled up at Joe, when Thiesman broke in to say,” Lawrence Joe Thiesman Here”……..LTs respons……….”Joe, I BROKE YOU JOE, I BROKE YOU………
Theisman started stammering and tried to change the subject the tv camera caught his face and I saw the FEAR in his eyes. I swear I think he thought LT was going to come up in the boothe and whip his but. LT just kept saying it over and over. I BROKE YOU JOE! For the first time ever, I actually enjoyed watching Joe Thiesman that night. Hey but nowadays it takes an ex player like LT to get a little HIGH before the game………everything has changed. Thanks for the memories Rafael………I remember them fondly.
For the record. My greatest Monday Night Football Memory still goes back to Tony Dorsett and the Dallas Cowboys vs. Minnesota on a Monday Night. TD takes the ball with the tackles feet inside the endzone as the snap the ball at the half yard line and goes the longest run from scrimmage still in the History of a snapped ball. 99 and 1/2 yards. Somehow we managed to lose that game. But watching TD from like the 10 knowing that he had a seam and NO ONE was going to catch TD. It was a thing of Beauty. Certainly Troy, Emmit, Irvin gave us many Monday night memories but nothing ever came close to old number 33 taking it up the field.
We can all hope that one day someone will put John Riggins in a prime time booth. Those of us lucky enough to have lived in greater DC during the fooball season can tell you without a doubt, if you enjoyed Meredith and Cosell in the booth together, Riggins is your guy.
What we need is Troy in the booth!
I think he does a great job, particularly with the ‘Boys since he knows exactly what he is talking about.
Him and Madden (Troy’s biggest fan) would be a sweet combo.
Troy and Joe Buck will be the best announcers in Football this season. Especially without Chris Collinsworth to screw it up. I have even heard some of my Cowboy Hater friends come around and admit AIKMAN is the man in the booth. He recognizes the Defense and says well if the QB can audible here the Defense is out of position and this could be a touchdown……..Plunk…….he sounds like a prophet up there. Makes you wish he was still under CENTER!!!
Is Collinsworth gone? I really hope so. He’s awful.
Rafael,
Great piece. I do remember Dandy Don and his besotted soliloquies. Makes you wonder what his brain was lacquered with. Yes, THEISSMAN DOES SUCK. Maybe LT could stop by the booth and break his lips instead of his legs. LOL! It would keep the rest of us from fingernails-on-chalkboard induced suicide. But please sir, be nice to BOCEPHUS. Once he stopped drinkin’ he jest wernt the same Bubba!
Rafael,
Execellent writing! you are right about the MNF, it has really gone down hill! I miss the Old Days but I guess that is the old man coming out in me!
I agree that Troy is great in the booth, he and Joe Buck are the best booth analyst Fox has….But I think Troy, Howie Long and Terry Bradshaw would really bring MNF back to life, in the same way Jerry and Bill have brought the Cowboys back to life! PURE TALENT! Go Cowboys in 05′ !!!!!!!!
Rafael,
Great writing, but I hate to say you missed the point. MNF is still and institution within the under 30 crowd. SNF became an institution with the under 30 crowd because it was on ESPN. Having MNF on ESPN will help MNF reach heights not seen in a long time, if ever. I think there is a little bit of nostalgia in your commentary.
I believe Al Michaels is the best announcer today (including Joe Buck and overrated Bob Costas) that adding Theismann won’t be any worse than adding Dennis Miller. Yet, if ESPN were to add Paul Maguire to the mix it would really make for a fun and interesting MNF. Cossell and Meredith were before my times (born in ‘81). There is nothing like ESPN when it comes to sports. The only thing I hate about ESPN having MNF is that we now have to watch the pathetic NBC Sports.
Oh, I forgot to add the COWOYS will win this year’s Super Bowl.
How ’bout them COWBOYS?
Enrique,
I teach media programming. There’s nothing but cold hard ratings behind this. MNF is moving because it was lost ABC $150 M last year. It used to win its time slot by a handy margin but has regularly lost to sitcoms the past few years. In other words, it’s past its time.
ESPN ratings are a fraction of what a network can draw. There is no way that MNF on cable will approach the ratings it did on ABC. Now it will get record ratings FOR ESPN, but that’s small comfort to the NFL or Disney.
James,
I have nothing against Bocephus. The man is a walking miracle. But man, couldn’t they have him record a new song? That old one is tired.
Rafael,
I hear ya. The MNF jingle was OK for a while, loosely based as it was on one of his songs.
I just caught wind of the Theismann signing today and I’m appalled. I can’t believe ABC thinks he is their solution to MNF. These network guys are living in another world. First of all, Hank Williams has got to go…that skit has been on their for 15+ years and it’s as stale as the bread in my refrigerator. Theismann is mediorce and fit in fine on his regular Sunday night gig but he is not MNF material. I’ll go as far as to say that most of these moves that ESPN/ABC are making are sub par to what they currently have in place. Too much Al Michaels and too many “blah” announcers. They haven’t learned anything from their past mistakes. Dennis Miller was a mistake, yet they get rid of a fine analyst (Dan Fouts) at the same time. They just keep spiraling downward.
I believe football sells itself. You don’t need a lot of cute jingles and creative advertising. There is an old saying … KISS .. keep it simple stupid. Show a Bo Jackson 80 yard run with the radio call on that play. Maybe some vintage footage of the NFL’s greatest games highlights, and classic broadcasts’ calls .. you know one of Elways last second miracles, Drew Pearson’s hail mary catch. Give us a taste of Steve Atwater or Ronnie Lott punishing a reciever for coming across the middle. I wanna see the crazy Raider fans looking like Darth Vader .. the Dawg pound … the Hogs acting like crazy adolesents. Play some old rock, maybe Quiet Riot’s “Come on Feel the Noise!!”. Show me Jack Tatum crushing a running back … Earl Cambell running over a LB … Randy Moss making a spectacular diving catch. Relive “The Catch” and “The Immaculate Reception” and remember how close the Titans got to winning it all. … The NFL is rich in history, in the past you turn on MNF, there were vintage highlights, memorable moments, of the two teams playing and music that always seemed to go right along with it. Then the two helmets would crash down, with that classic MNF theme music “da nat du dun dunt”, the announcers would quickly fill in the teams situations leading into the game and then it was TIME!!! Kickoff time!! Wow! I could feel the blood rushing through my veins!! The adrenaline pumping!! … Now they always try to lour you in and drag it out. Hank Williams comes on for 5 minutes, I mean how many different versions of the same song can you take. ABC runs in “clever” promos for their week long schedule, based with the NFL’s game that week, ala Nicole Sherridan and T.O. They go to commercial. Madden and co. come on and break the game down for another 10 minutes … go to commercial. At 9 o’clock (EST) I was at the edge of my seat waiting in anticipation to watch the game … by 9:15 I am screaming at my TV .. “Start the damn game already!!!” .. I want football!! If I wanted to watch Desperate Housewives I’d watch it on Sunday night. If I wanted to hear old fat men talk for 15 minutes at a time, I’d watch the news. ABC did a horrible job the past few years damaging the “empire” it had built .. How? By shamelessly plugging this show or that show. KISS!! Its very simple … stick to football and what the fans want .. highlights … help the fans feel the emotion of the game. Get them at the edge of their seats at 9 o’clock and give them that immediate high that only an NFL kickoff can provide, relieve that ansiousness, quench their thirst, so they come back again next week.
… Maybe just me, but I get so siked to see the game, then all the talking and all the stupid little plugs, and all the commercials … almost always lets down my emotion, and when kickoff is here I already lost a little of the high that MNF used to give me.
Scott
I really liked your idea about Terry, Howie and our own Troy in the booth. I believe it would be a natural. I love Bocephus and all of his music, but I too was wondering why something else wasn’t done for the pre-game music as well. The game was always more important to me, but I really enjoyed hating Cosell. Dandy Don was one of my childhood hero, so it was only natural that I like him in the booth. The last few years have been tough on MNF, but the game has been the same. All the added things might have been fun, but the game was what I wanted to see. No matter what area you were in the game was on. When you live in an area that airs the Ain’t any way you can watch the Boys is a good thing. Even with all of the negative things that have happened on MNF, there was always that when the Boys was on. I have no proof other than a feeling that ABC’s ratings where tied to how good the Cowboys were that year. After all they were and are America’s Team.
Eric R. — I’m with you. I don’t want more show, I want less. And fewer g-d commercials. I think one of the big problems with the NFL is they’ve packed too many commercial minutes in the last few years. They keep tweaking and seeing if they can add more commercial minutes and still keep up ratings and we keep watching so they keep doing it. But it’s just a pain in the butt. And I still say for MNF if you had two good, solid announcers, it’d be a better show, whether it was funny or not.
BTW, it was reported over the past few days that ABC did try to hire Troy before Theismann. But Troy actually turned down ABC, saying he liked it at Fox. Then he went back to Fox, told them ABC was offering MNF to him, and got a new 6-year extension on his contract. I don’t know if Leigh Steinberg’s still his agent, but someone is on the ball. My guess is Troy didn’t want to have to do all the cornball “entertainment” required on MNF - he has probably got more than he likes as it is on Fox.