We Get Letters
Posted: August 24, 2005 @ 1:50 am
A week or two ago, I posted an article about Cowboys saloons, asking where folks watched their favorite team. The Oiler Troll has sent me an e-mail about a Cowboys Saloon from the Twilight Zone. Enjoy — and learn!
Here now, the Troll:
Hi Everybody!
Yes, yes, to some extent we all love blogging as it is a way to be heard and attract attention to ourselves. Oiler Troll is no exception and apologizes for this following post…but it was a little freaky.
Basically, I bet my experience in watching the Cowboys-Seaturds game was different than yours.
Around this time of year, Oiler Troll gets a little blue that his team no longer resides in Texas, so he gets a little restless and must travel far, far away from football. Oiler Troll chose Costa Rica this time.
So Oiler Troll went to the surfing community of Jaco, Costa Rica, unaware of what kind of town that is. Within 2 hours 3 dudes on bikes accosted Oiler Troll demanding, not asking, but demanding openly that he purchase illicit narcotics. Oiler Trolls straits are not quite that dire, thank you.
Oiler Troll and his buddies went barhopping in this humble little town. Most of the bars were pretty lifeless…until we came across a place called ¨The Beatle¨ complete with many, many forms of copyright and trademark enfringements…but Oiler troll will get to why Yoko may want to shut the place down later.
So there are many people there, there is music, and yes, through the crowd Oiler Troll sees a big screen TV with the game on. Decision made - we shall have a drink at The Beatle (we were guessing Ringo was behind it if any of them had anything to do with the place).
The women seemed strangely friendly as we went to pick a seat. We sat down and another woman walked by and ran her fingers through Oiler Troll´s hair as she passed with a smile. Now, this may happen to some of you, but not Oiler Troll. Finally, after we received our beers, another woman pulled ùp a chair next to Oiler troll and dropped her hand in his lap. It occurred to Oiler Troll that hey, this was not an ordinary bar in this humble little surfside town in Costa Rica.
Oiler trolled tried to stammer in his best Spanish, ¨We ain´t had much of a first date yet,¨which was met with a blank stare, a repositioned hand then followed by a sacharrine smile. Oiler troll next asked the woman if she was working. She made some remark that no, but her sister was working the bar.(?)
The waiter then asked us for another beer. We said yes. The woman ordered a drink and then asked us if that was ok. Oiler Troll innocently asked why didn´t the woman get her sister to get her a free drink. This appeared to anger the woman which resulted in her leaving in a huff. She was not pursued.
At this point Demarcus Ware did his thing and got an INT. Sure enough, there was another Cowboys fan and playfully yelled ¨How ´bout them Cowboys!¨ Oiler Troll looked over at the Cowboys fan and noticed that the cheer produced a faint echo cheer from a woman who was giving the Cowboys fan a similar friendliness that the other woman had given Oiler Troll. We settled our tab and got out of there as Drew Henson appropriately enough took a knee to run out the clock.
Putting two and two together, Oiler Troll realized that he was in bar where, well, to keep the Beatle ™ thing going, yes, money CAN in fact buy me love. I just would not recommend it as your respective Oiler Trollettes would not be cool with it. So yes, Oiler Troll unwittingly walked into a whorehouse in a foreign country and it scared the shit out of him. Oiler Troll later checked the guide book which plain as day described the place accurately as such - another lesson - read the friggin’ guide books.
I hope your Cowboys viewing experience was much, much more wholesome.
Read the guide books, Kids.
OT
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Becker,
The Troll had an addendum that was just for you. I figured the thread was a better place for it than the front page. Here it is:
“I did get a research question out of the experience, however. This is
for you, Becker. Some guy from Panama who works in Panamania
television said there was some locally produced show in which a
penquin was employed as an actor. The Panamanian guy said part of the
Penquin´s contract was that he would have 2 female penquins standing
by as penquins need to copulate every hour lest the penquin be a total
wreck and of no use to the TV show. It sounded like an urban myth to
me, but I wanted somebody with some expertise to look into it.
Becker, let me know what you come up with (and yes, I know it has no
connection to the Cowboys or football in general. Sorry - I am just
bitter that my team is in Nashville).”
Oiler Troll is flocked in the head! That’s why I always love to read his posts!
I had a similar experience with Korean gals when I was in the service. That letter made me LMMFAO!
Yes, I also am LMMFAO. (I like that I was able to figure that one out on my own). I vote for Oiler Troll Travelogue becoming a regular column. I also think Oiler Troll’s Nashville friends should be able to see a copy. I’ll just forward one along …
This section shouldn’t say “uncategorized” it should be “Trolling
the Universe” or something …..Raf change that pronto.
Ok now Troll with penguins you have to hook your arm
around their wing……..oh wait that wasn’t the question.
It is so strange you went to Costa Rica.My good friend
bailed on life in the States about 15 years ago and moved
to C.R. and started a legit business.I visited him and had a
similar experience to you only he knew prostituion was legal
there but he neglected to tell me.It was sort of strange alot
of very young girls with way older guys…. sort of like Lindsay
Lohan with Bruce Willis…..kinda of creepy and coming from
me thats saying something.
Anyway btw i appreciate the “personal message” it will i’m
sure improve my stating with all the “hardcore” cowboys
fans on this site.LOLBut i will look into this penguin thing
even contact my friend in C.R. to see about this show
and learn some about the feathery guys for you.
Raf,
a really dumb computer question and no it does not involve
porn!!!When i leave this site to um….. do some†researchâ€Â
if i close it and then come back say 15 mins later and open
it will that count as a new hit???The reason i am asking is
i leave the site open as i think most posters do but if it adds
hits i will close and reopen….just a thought.
becker:
It depends on the timeout (I have to look that one up). It will always be a “hit” no matter what. What’s different is the “visits”. If you keep it open it counts as one visit. Closing and revisiting initiates a new session and, consequently, a new visit.
People are more and more starting to track visits instead of hits.
Raul,
Correct me if I’m wrong, but some programs keep track of urls to determine visits. So if I check in a few times during a day it’s still one visit, because it’s me coming back again and again. The difference is in how long they mark returns as one visit. For some sites it’s one day and for others its a week. I think it’s one day on this site but I’m not sure.
Hi Everybody
Gosh, Oiler Troll in no way thought he might be posted. Thanks, and fear not - Oiler Troll is acutely aware that: 1) He can do little to detract from the honest to goodness real and solid football reporting that goes on here, and 2) the only people that read Oiler Troll are also “flocked in the head” - God bless us one and all.
To update - Oiler Troll is still in Central America seeing what he can do about finding a new Kicker for the Cowboys. No one presented themselves as such at the Beatle brothel, but…in NIcaragua Oiler Troll did run into a guy wearing a Patriots Bledsoe jersey - the man was selling some sort of taxidermied leathernexk frogs…
Also, Oiler Troll befriended 3 Irish girls also travelling around Central America…until while waiting on a bus he threw their one and only frisbee under an oncoming truck (and they had been so nice to envite him to play with them. Oiler Troll has a lot of Charlie Brown in him, as all Oiler fans did. The Cowboys had the good fortune to have a traditional winner so the Charlie Brown thing does not apply…except to Danny White, God bless him, too).
Don’t be like Mike - Be like Dandy Don.
OT
Hi Everybody
Gosh, Oiler Troll in no way thought he might be posted. Thanks, and fear not - Oiler Troll is acutely aware that: 1) He can do little to detract from the honest to goodness real and solid football reporting that goes on here, and 2) the only people that read Oiler Troll are also “flocked in the head” - God bless us one and all.
To update - Oiler Troll is still in Central America seeing what he can do about finding a new Kicker for the Cowboys. No one presented themselves as such at the Beatle brothel, but…in NIcaragua Oiler Troll did run into a guy wearing a Patriots Bledsoe jersey - the man was selling some sort of taxidermied leathernexk frogs…
Also, Oiler Troll befriended 3 Irish girls also travelling around Central America…until while waiting on a bus he threw their one and only frisbee under an oncoming truck (and they had been so nice to envite him to play with them. Oiler Troll has a lot of Charlie Brown in him, as all Oiler fans did. The Cowboys had the good fortune to have a traditional winner so the Charlie Brown thing does not apply…except to Danny White, God bless him, too).
Also Becker - excellent work - it was a Panamanian tv show, allegedly, btw.
Don’t be like Mike - Be like Dandy Don.
OT
OT
Hey Troll if your still in C.R. look up a place called the Blue
Marlin in San Jose….at least i think that the name of the
place or town…… anyway your not going to score with
chicks if you keep ruining their stuff especially irish
chicksl
Alas Oiler Troll it looks like the penguin thing seems to be a
myth.Male penguins appear to be one of natures more “P.Whippped”
creatures second only to the Human Male in that after mating
they undergo a virtual castration and wind up actually sticking
around to care for their offspring,instead of heading out to bars
to watch cowboys games and trying to create more offspring
with random females……..in honor of our russian friends….
What a Shame.
Hi Everybody!
And Becker, in response to your research, Oiler Troll can only say this - awesome work.
I did hear about the Blue Marlin but did not visit it. Over all, a great trip and a great place to visit. Oiler Troll actually surfed (seeing waves that one could actually surf on tremendously confused Oiler Troll, a native of Galveston).
And one final comment on the poor-taste topic of prostitution there - the day after the Cowboys game, I was waiting on a bus outside of a Pizza Hut and saw what you described - the way older guy with one of the young women we saw the night before…but why would you take her to a Pizza Hut in Costa Rica as part of the transaction. Oiler Troll can’t figure that one.
Glad to know you are out there keeping it real, Becker.
Oiler Troll will try to keep future comments on point about the Cowboys.
OT
Troll,
Glad to see you made it back safe.Now you can take the
Trollette to see March of the Penguins and show her that
soft tender side we never get to see.And what is your excuse
for not surfing in Galveston????i just saw a clip where guys
are “surfing”the wakes of super tankers in Galveston Harbor!
As for the Pizza Hut thing I’ll email my friend and get the scoop
but one thing you need to consider is if the guy is going to
travel that far to get some and pay for it we are not exactly
talking CLASS!
Last nite I saw the South Park where they go to Costa Rica to save
the rainforest it was hilarious ….
Don’t try too hard to keep your comments just about the cowboys
we need a diversion from the endless debates……